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This approach did nothing to improve the Safety first drink with police Christmas shirt, sweater. What does seem to work is: You seem upset. How can I help? This response brings down the defenses, validates her feelings, and put us on the same team working toward a common goal. I wish I could take back the years I harped on my child about her messy room and messy ways until I blew up. I’ve noticed that on Fridays there is lots of cleaning going on in her room because she wants to be able to do her fun activities on the weekend. Because her duties no longer need to be completed on my timetable, there are fewer battles. This way, my child is the one who comes up with the solution.


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